1. For a rational judge to overturn the frivolous paternity suits against me. All twenty of them.
2. For some direction from God. God knows what happens when left to my own devices (see #1 above).
3. Martha Stewart's Playboy debut, before Hef kicks the bucket.
4. An anti-priapism pill. An effective
anti-priapism pill. Not one which gives out 20 minutes before the end of your presentation at the podium, in front of 200 women's rights activists.
5. For some balance in my life. Instead of coding half looped on tequila, maybe a glass of red wine before I begin, and a glass afterwards, if I manage 5 minutes of work. Champagne, if the code itself works.
6. To be a positive role model for youngsters thinking about becoming a programmer.
7. For Microsoft to stick to one OS naming convention, instead of deferring to marketing types who'd name their own sons Johnson&Johnson Smith if they thought they could get away with it.